Calming the body and brain

When we think about fearful experiences or events, we ignite in our physical bodies a fear response of fight, flight or freeze. If we live in a fear modality, we will cause ourselves to live in a fear-filled way.

Following the past two and a half years of pandemic living, we may have found ourselves in a fear response more often than a calm response, which is completely normal, given the circumstances we faced. But now that the pandemic has subsided somewhat, it would also be normal to find ourselves still expecting to respond to stimuli with fear, rather than calm. The fear response can elicit a sense of scarcity; a calm response can bring about a response of abundance.

But what can we do to assuage our fearful nervous system, which seems to respond to stimuli with fear, whether there is anything to fear or not? We can begin to think about and notice abundance everywhere we see it or experience it and then celebrate it. You see, scarcity thinking manifests negativity and loss. It elicits in us a fear response that creates more fear. Our brain does not measure the accuracy of our assessment, it simply responds with what it believes will bring us to safety, even when we are completely safe and have nothing to fear.

The problem with the maintenance of a fear-induced mentality is that it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy: we get more of what we fear because we are drawing more of this to ourselves, even if we insist we do not want it. I used to tell my clients that we have to challenge our thinking in order to change our thinking. Otherwise, we will be left to contend with the negative world we have helped create.

But how do we do that, we may wonder. Magical thinking is not going to solve the fear we experience when we see empty grocery shelves; masks on every person we pass, no matter where we are; isolation and the latest news on the state of our world; or the threat of world instability. It was a frightening time, indeed.

What we can do is examine our thinking and ask ourselves if the fear we are feeling is correct. Does this situation call for a fear response? If we reason that it does not, then we must calm our bodies and replace our fearful thinking with an optimistic, hopeful response. We may have to do that through sheer will, which can be challenging, but not impossible.

We begin by closing our eyes and taking a deep breath. This interrupts the central nervous system’s automatic response to the perceived threat, which helps reset our brain and our body. What is so interesting is that the fear response we experience, whether real or imagined, begins in our gut, rushing the information that there is a serious need to respond to danger to our brain. When that occurs, the part of our brain we use for reasoning and thinking is overcome by the emotional response that is created by the message from the gut. Taking a deep breath interrupts this process and reengages our thinking brain, which allows us to respond logically to the situation at hand.

God gave us this very beautiful ability to remain calm when our body perceives that there is a very real need to fight, flee or freeze. We do not have to be a pawn to our circumstances, whatever they may be. We can remain calm in a situation that presents stress and fear. This requires us to take a step back, breathe, think things through and make good decisions. When we do so, we are able to take control of the situation that might otherwise overwhelm us.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist emeritus and a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury. Learn more at her website, ifhwb.com.