Joe Stanislav

After 30 years as president and CEO of Our Lady of Peace — the free Catholic hospice in St. Paul with a home health care staff — Joe Stanislav is preparing to step down. His final day is Dec. 30. The 65-year-old — a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury — is planning to spend more time with his wife, Pam, their three daughters and their 12 grandkids.

Q) Tell me about your childhood memories growing up in Rochester.

A) During those days we were free. We could go anywhere as long as we were home for supper. Then we’d go out again till bed. Kids aren’t as free anymore. We were lucky. We played pick-up ball; we played pick-up hockey in the winter. We just found ways to entertain ourselves. There were large Catholic families all around us — the next-door neighbors had 10 kids, across from us had eight, down the street had eight. There were always games on the street.

Q)The Franciscans who taught you as a boy entered your life again in 2009, when the hospice — founded by the Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne and formerly known as Our Lady of Good Counsel — merged with the Franciscan Health Community and was renamed Our Lady of Peace.

A) It’s a melding of those two religious orders and their missions. I always tell my wife, “It’s the Franciscans’ revenge at me for having to teach me in grade school and put up with us in high school.” My whole life has been paying them back. They were joyous people, and they definitely lived out their mission.

Q What kept you in this job so long?

A) I never found anything I’d like to do more. I like the challenges, what changes throw at you and how you respond. It helps you grow in faith.

Challenges can look huge sometimes. You let your mind go wild, and, “Oh my gosh, this is Armageddon!”

That’s the advantage to being at a place a long time: You learn to be patient and persevere. You see those cycles, and instead of running from the problems, you go through them and face them and realize you’ve got a really great support group — excellent staff, volunteers, donors, all these folks. It isn’t just you, it’s everybody. That’s what’s kept me going for this long.

Q) What has working with death taught you about life?

A) People fear death because we fear life. We’re afraid of the future, of not being adequate. I’m always inspired by patients who express that they are content with their lives, they’re not afraid of dying, they look forward to heaven. A lot of people are ready to go. They’re not anxious about it. They don’t think they were inadequate. And they believe that Christ died for us, and that’s all that matters. If you have faith, you’re not afraid of what comes next.

Q) Do you hope to have that same contentment when your time comes?

A) Definitely. They’re kind of role models, and when you see people like that, you realize they’re not really any different than you. They’ve just learned to live in the moment. They’re not anxious about the future, they’re not ruminating about the past — they’ve come to grips with it. That’s what you have to do. Hopefully we all have time to do that and the mental capacity.

Q) Do you hear stories from staff about patients who encounter a loved one in heaven as they near death?

A) Yes. That’s what I look forward to too — seeing them again and realizing that they’re in heaven. What could be better?

A priest once said, “It’s great to have people who are in serious suffering or pain pray for you.” I thought, “Well, we should be praying for them.” But when you think about it: people who are facing those things, they’re coming to holiness, and who better to pray for you?

Q) Our Lady of Peace is known for the way it welcomes new patients — giving them a bath, a shave or shampoo, clipping their nails, putting them in clean clothes. It’s a corporal work of mercy.

A) If we do anything well, we get people to a point of being symptom free. That’s our goal. One way you do that is psychological, the things that just make you feel better. The (Dominican) Sisters set that example. They’re about the little things. And our long-term staff have passed that along. It’s their legacy: to look at the little things that can bring joy and to help make those end days much happier.

It’s good to see how a family that arrives in turmoil — very demanding or upset about everything — by the end of the day, they’re calm and complimentary. We see that change in them. Their anxiety turns to acceptance and gratitude.

Q) Your retirement times out with the completion — or near completion — of a successful capital campaign and a construction project that will give each patient a private room.

A) It’s gratifying to know that we give great care and now we’re going to be able to do it in the best setting — and still do it at no cost to the patient — all three of those things. Sometimes two would be great. That feels good.

Q) Are people blown away by the fact that Our Lady of Peace is free?

A) More people are aware of that now. The sisters, to their credit, didn’t blow their own horn. They were on this quiet mission here. But with our goals to expand and do more for underserved communities, we’ve had to be more public. So yeah, you do hear from folks who didn’t know we existed. “You do what?” Then we show them what the rooms look like.

Q) You have a close-up view of generosity in action.

A) It inspires you. It makes you want to be more generous. It doesn’t matter whether they’re giving six figures or 100 dollars, it’s the attitude that they give it with. They really want to be part of this. Donating is their way of being part of this. It’s not grudging. It’s freely given, with such joy. That’s why I know I’ll always support this place.

Q) What are your retirement plans?

A) I don’t know. When I have more time to concentrate on it, I’m sure that’ll take care of itself. I hope to travel more, to dodge winter and to be more involved in our church. I’m looking forward to having more time to reflect, more quiet time.

Q) Do you have a favorite prayer?

A) My wife and I together daily pray the rosary before bed. When we started doing that, it always seemed more like a chore. Now it’s something we look forward to.

Q) One of your daughters has a farm near Little Fork. It sounds like you enjoy your adventures up there.

A) Pam and I keep a trailer on their property. They’re right along the Little Fork River. We fish, we golf, we take walks. They’ve got four-wheelers and snowmobiles. When I go up there, I turn into a kid. I often tell my grandchildren, “Don’t tell Nana about the stuff I do.”

Q) What do you know for sure?

A) The only thing I know for sure is that I’m loved. That’s enough.