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Marriage is for life. When God created the world, God’s plan for marriage was that the husband and wife “become one body,” or sometimes translated, “one flesh” (Gn 2:24b). Jesus further explained, “What God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mt 19:6; Mk 10:9).
It is more than a human or physical bond. It is a spiritual bond because God seals it, thus making it unbreakable. The enduring nature of the union is stated clearly in the consent between the bride and groom. The final words of the marriage vows are, “I promise … to love you and honor you all the days of my life.” Previously one option for the conclusion was, “Until death do us part.” From the day of the marriage forward, the marriage covenant, likes God’s relationship with us, is permanent and binding, irrevocable and indissoluble.
A lifelong marriage is for the good of the couple. It provides stability for both the wife and the husband. When hardships and suffering come along, as they surely will, the first thought is not, “How can I get out of this?” but rather, the conscious decision, “We are going to get through this together.” It is a preset mental framework, a chosen path from the beginning, “No matter what obstacles may come our way, with the help of God, we will work together to overcome them.” The commitment to persevere no matter what reduces worry and fear and serves as a rich source of hope and confidence.
A lifelong marriage is for the good of the children. It provides a stable homelife. The children need both their mother and their father, parents who are unwavering in their love for each other, joyfully together and present day by day, united in their concern and care for their children, available and reliable, calm and steady. Parents who are together for the long haul give their children safety and security and set them on the right path as disciples of Jesus on the journey to God.
Lifelong marriages and strongly united families are the foundation and building blocks of the Church. The couple first, and then the family, constitute a house church, and it functions as the basic unit of the Church with the mother and father as the spiritual leaders of their children and the home. The stronger the marriage, the stronger the family; and the stronger the family, the stronger the Church.
Similarly, lifelong marriages are the foundation of society. When the institution of marriage is strong and long lasting, when couples are faithful to each other for life, it promotes healthier neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, and society as whole. It fosters the common good.
In his book “Life is Worth Living,” Bishop Fulton Sheen concludes his chapter on the sacrament of marriage with this reflection: “Fidelity is an eternal engagement with the future. The soul knows that it cannot be saved unless it is faithful to the spouse, even in the midst of trial. If God’s love is never withdrawn from His Church, then the love of husband and wife is never withdrawn one from another. Their love is a proclamation to the world of another marriage, the marriage that gives us joy and happiness, the beautiful union of Christ and His Bride, the Church.”
Father Van Sloun is the clergy services director for the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. This column is part of a series on the sacrament of marriage.
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