In 2007 Pope Benedict XVI said, “every home is called to become a ‘domestic church’ in which family life is completely centred on the lordship of Christ and the love of husband and wife mirrors the mystery of Christ’s love for the Church, his bride”. The family, based on the sacrament of marriage, has always been viewed as the “first church”, in Catholic teaching. 

As Saint John Paul II said, “marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family – a domestic church”. The family home is also the place where the emotional, physical, educational, and spiritual needs of children are met. It is where children are cared for by their devoted parents; it is the place where the One True Faith is passed along to the next generation. 

It is sad to see, therefore, the near constant assault on families and their ability to care for their children. The family structure itself – namely children bound to their natural parents who have committed to each other through the sacrament of marriage – has been under attack since the 1960s. In that decade the youthful baby boomers, having enjoyed the benefits of the nuclear family themselves, decided that the basic rules that governed relations between men and women (the rules that sustained their own childhood nuclear family) should not apply to them as they became adults.  

It was the boomers who declared that their sexual needs and lustful desires were more important than the needs of children. The sexual revolution declared that the interests of children are not important, and their interests have been sacrificed to immoral wishes of adults ever since. Children are said to be “resilient” in the face of ruthless adults who will upset their family and tear it apart should it suit them and their sexual desires. The so-called resilience of children is a very convenient cover for adults to get their way, no matter what the cost. 

However, the sexual revolution and attack on marriage itself was the only the beginning. Cohabitation, divorce and relentless economic pressures mean the needs of children continue to be downgraded if not ignored completely. Although many families desire to spend more time with each other, this only becomes more difficult as financial pressures increase. Today, even babies under the age of one are put in formal childcare so their mothers can go out and work – something that would be unheard of even two decades ago.  Previously, such young infants would only be cared for by immediate family members. The coming economic storm this winter will only worsen the situation. 

But we should not despair. We must take heart from the fact that today, despite what popular culture tells them, young people still desire to get married and raise a family. In the secular world governments and policy makers still understand the great benefits of the family. A recent review, “the Independent Family Review” by England’s children’s commissioner, Dame Rachel de Souza, speaks about the “power that family holds. A power that provides a shield from life’s challenges – a protective effect against adversity. Families recognise it and those who work with them acknowledge it. And importantly, for the first time, this Review proves and quantifies exactly what the protective effect of family is.” 

The review found that 44 per cent of those born at the start of the century didn’t live with both biological parents their entire childhood – a marked change from 21 per cent for children born in 1970. The UK also has a greater proportion of one-parent families compared with most European nations.

Given that children have a natural right to be raised by their own mother and father this increase in fractured families is a cause for concern. We can only hope that governments and policy-makers understand not just the ‘protective effect’ families have, but also the rights of children to be raised and cared for by their parents. 

Getting married and raising a family takes courage. It can be the most joyful and challenging act a man and woman will ever do. But in a culture as individualistic, materialistic, and commercially driven as ours, even mothers who care for their own children at home, are viewed as second class citizens. 

Catholic families therefore should be a beacon in the dark as we are called to serve each other; the husband to serve his wife, his wife to serve her husband and for both to serve their children, who in return should learn to serve others. 

The family is the primary educator of children, not schools or universities. Saint John Paul II again, noted that “the great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish”. We must guard against our hearts becoming closed and always fight the desire to be selfish. With God’s grace it can be done. 

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