Creating a culture of dialogue

At times of disagreement and incongruity involving the opinions of others, it often seems easier to gravitate toward anger that leads to arguments, rather than discussions that may lead to some level of understanding. No matter how we feel about the decision of the Supreme Court in June to overturn Roe v. Wade, we have witnessed the reactions of both sides.

We see either the delight over a decision some never thought would happen in their lifetime, or extreme dismay regarding the judgment of the high court to return the fundamental freedom over a woman’s choice to the state where she resides. There is no middle ground on this one.

While learning to dialogue with those on the opposing side of a controversial moral argument is often uncomfortable, developing the skills to discuss difficult issues is a mark of maturity. Avoiding a conflict is not what our Catholic faith calls us to do. Rather than passively avoiding someone with whom we disagree, our faith calls us to engage in meaningful conversations, in order to share our perspective and respectfully listen to theirs.

The challenge is to enter the dialogue with the commitment to remain courteous and considerate throughout the exchange. Even though there may be a desire to express anger or irritation toward the other person, we know logically that is unwise, for it will not lead to a peaceable resolution.

The first steps we must take to enter respectful dialogue with others, according to Catholic scholar Anthony Cirelli, an associate director of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, are prudence and charity. When we listen openly to the experiences the other shares with us about why they hold the beliefs that are opposed to our own, we listen respectfully and then calmly share our viewpoint on the subject. Ultimately, we want to extend understanding, empathy and friendship to the other person, demonstrating our love for them.

Cirelli contends that ignorance and intolerance have plagued our world for centuries, largely because human beings have been unable and unwilling to enter into constructive dialogue with people who have opposing opinions. The point of constructive dialogue, he argues, is to “create a foundation of trust and mutual collaboration between people” so that we can help facilitate an intercultural and interpersonal exchange, in which we find common ground with those with whom we differ.

Our primary goal is to advance values that serve to build our human community and to foster understanding and empathy with and toward others. Imagine a world in which we make room for the opposing opinions of others, as we manage disagreements in an adult manner, rather than believing the only way to solve our differences is to act violently or to dismiss the other and their ideology.

Our goal, Cirelli states, is to learn from the other’s opinion and create mutual esteem and respect, which can then lead to authentic trust and friendship. The goal of dialogue is to promote the welfare of all human beings as we strive to create a world of peace.

Does this sound utopian, especially regarding the issue of the legalization of abortion? You may think that entering into a civil conversation with someone who believes strongly in an opposing viewpoint to your own is impossible, but we know as Catholic Christians, that Jesus calls us to live our faith boldly and with conviction. This may be the very opportunity you have been waiting for to profess your faith.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist emeritus and a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury.