Dealing with the unexpected, sacrificing for the sake of others and learning to trust God in the long-term are facets of fatherhood one might reflect on during Father’s Day, said Ryan O’Hara, a Catholic writer, speaker and the content director of St. Paul-based college campus ministry St. Paul’s Outreach.
“The only thing I can control is the witness of my life,” O’Hara told Patrick Conley, host of the “Practicing Catholic” radio show on Relevant Radio 1330 AM, as he described raising children to remain in the faith. “I cannot control what my kids do. I thought that I could. I learned the hard way that it is actually impossible.”
Ryan O’Hara
O’Hara said he and his wife have raised and adopted foster children, which can bring and challenging circumstances.
“’Control’ is not what they do, but how I respond to what they do,” O’Hara said. “And in terms of faith, I’m going to be a man that prays. … I’m going to be a man who goes to Mass and brings my children along with me. I’m going to respond to their questions. I’m not going to be afraid of their doubts. I’m not going to shield myself from maybe the real difficult things that are happening in their life that may result in them leaving the faith.
“I want to put my faith and trust in God and his activity in their life over the long term, versus judging and grading myself all along the way, as though it’s up to me. I’m playing a part, but I’m not the whole. And I’m participating, cooperating, hopefully, with the action of God in their life. … And being patient with that, being OK with that, not allowing that to disrupt the faith that I have in God.”
Fathers can bring a vision, love and strength that is uniquely paternal, one that is comforting and strong and nurturing, O’Hara said. “I think that firmness, that’s sort of enveloped in a heart of compassion, is a really necessary part of fatherhood,” he said.
To hear more about fatherhood, marriage and the high calling the Church has for husbands and wives, tune into the 9 p.m. June 17 “Practicing Catholic,” which also repeats 1 p.m. June 18 and 2 p.m. June 19, Father’s Day.
Produced by Relevant Radio and the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis, the latest show also includes interviews with Patrick Martin, chair of Nativity of Our Lord’s long-running parish festival in St. Paul, and Archbishop Bernard Hebda, who reflects on the graces of the June 3-5 Archdiocesan Synod Assembly in St. Paul.
Listen to their interviews after they have aired:
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