The development of character

Character is often misunderstood and seemingly mysterious in our current culture. It describes our innermost nature and temperament, and it is the way others fundamentally experience us. Our reputation, on the other hand, is what people think of us, and it can often be fabricated to portray the persona we want people to see, or believe us to be.

Character and reputation are not the same thing, even though the two words are often used as synonyms. Of the two, character is essentially who we are, whereas, reputation can be constructed. Of the two, character is far more important. If we attend to our character, our reputation will take care of itself.

Building a strong and consistent character is something we must care for each day, as we align our decisions and choices with the right and good thing to do. Our character, according to Patricia Cronin, a clinical psychologist, is developed through a close relationship with God as we practice virtuous behavior. Cronin, who wrote “Character Development in the Catholic School,” contends that in today’s moral climate, the challenges to doing the good we intend often erode our efforts. We are witnessing a great need to develop an intensive and coordinated effort to understand and build character, she says.

Cronin argues that the best way to build a strong and resilient character is to become Christ-like, as we attend to an active and well-formed conscience. She explains that it is through the combined effort of the Catholic school and Catholic parents that “children must be taught to live their faith.” A conscience that is resilient and strong helps us develop the virtues of patience, honesty, obedience, understanding, respect, prudence and perseverance. All we must do as Christians is look to the cross and we will see the virtuous nature of Jesus, as he faced his death with conviction and courage.

Cronin identifies the three goals of character development as the desire to be good, as we live lives of concern for others; the formation of a lasting habit of self-reflection; and a clear understanding of why we should be good, as well as the ways in which we can be good. In order to achieve these goals, we must want to be good, which we can fulfill through reflecting on the motivating factors for our behavior. When we understand the “why” of our choices, we will have a better understanding of the “what” we should do, with regard to the best decision to make in a given situation. To be effective, all of these efforts must be guided by the voice of the Holy Spirit.

This may sound like an overwhelming task, one that could cause discouragement and dismay. But it does not need to. If we acknowledge that a virtuous character is something we desire, then we must accept that we may have work to do. First, we must invite guidance from the Holy Spirit and abide with him as he speaks words of wisdom to us in prayer, in our thoughts, and through the wisdom of others. Then we must work, as we attend to the task before us, one small step at a time, one small decision before us.

Toward this effort, Cronin explains that we must begin with a positive sense of self. Next, we must attend to a well-formed and active conscience. This will help us develop the skills of good decision making, which will provide a selection of virtuous habits from which we may choose. Ultimately, our goal is to develop a holy conscience, one that can lead us to do the right and good thing at the moment of decision. Cronin states, “An active conscience is a liberating asset. … It gives a person the freedom to focus on goodness.”

Again, all we must do is look to the cross to see the virtue of Jesus and his willingness to hold steadfastly to his convictions. The strong character he possessed was developed in him through the guidance of his earthly parents, his time in prayer with his Father and his deep desire to align with the good. These experiences assisted him as he faced his death with bravery and deep faith. As his followers, we are encouraged to develop character and act with conviction and courage in our lives, as well.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist emeritus and a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury. She holds a master’s degree in theology from The St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity in St. Paul and a doctorate in educational leadership from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota.