Lent: An annual examination of conscience

Lent is once again upon us, and we have the blessed opportunity to take a step back and realign ourselves and our lives with our faith. I do love Lent — and I need Lent!

This is the time of the year that I push the pause button and take stock of the choices I’ve made throughout the previous year. I remember as a child choosing to give up candy. But seriously, giving up candy at that time in my life was more about realizing that if I was offered candy, I would have to decline. My friend Kathleen showed me a box of candy in her closet that she was saving to eat once Lent was over. That may have been acceptable as a child, but I’m not sure that is the point of Lent for adults.

I don’t think we use Lent as a sort of punishment, but more as a time of self-reflection and a time of honesty about the choices we made in the previous year that brought us closer to God, or further away. We must ask ourselves if we are even aware of the distance we have created between God and ourselves through those choices, or if we attended appropriately to a holier life and closed some of the distance we’ve experienced before.

Our Lenten fast is intended to create a hunger in us for God and his virtuous, loving ways, so that each one of us is able to provide an example through daily living our core values. Am I more patient and able to let things go more easily? Am I more courageous and willing to stand firmly for what I believe? Am I more prudent, or sensible and wise, in my dealings with others? Do I know and understand the right and just act to take in the moment, with regard to my neighbor?

These are all definitions of the holy, virtuous life, for which we strive each moment, signifying virtues have become habits for us. You see, a virtuous life is determined by the acts we habitually form in our everyday lives, simply through what we allow ourselves to think about, talk about and perpetuate.

So, as you begin Lent, take time to examine this past year. Ask yourself if you have been kinder to yourself, through the thoughts you have allowed yourself to think and how they made you feel. If you find that you have been hard on yourself, take a step back and give yourself credit for surviving one of the most difficult experiences humanity has ever faced. As psychologist Stephen Porges states, one who has faced adversity should “tell yourself you’re a hero. You survived this!” Porges also suggests that when we have a negative thought, simply choose a better thought. It might sound too simple to be effective. If you try it, you’ll be amazed at how well it works.

If you find yourself being judgmental toward others, turn it around and say a prayer for them instead. As Jeremiah 29:7 contends, “Seek the welfare of the city to which I have exiled you; pray for it to the Lord, for upon its welfare depends your own.” This passage explains that God wants us to pray for the situation that seems to have us captive, whatever it might be, for when we offer prayers on its behalf, God will bless it, and us, as well.

You may find you have lost a sense of hope throughout the past year and that you are more pessimistic than you have ever been. Again, turning to the prophet Jeremiah, we read, “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope” (Jer 29:11).

Lent this year is a time for self-reflection and a time to determine a more positive way forward. Allow God to be the one who helps you find the stability you seek through choosing a more virtuous path. Take time to practice that newly chosen path throughout the season of Lent, and see how well it helps to guide you in a more positive direction.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist emeritus and a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury. She holds a master’s degree in theology from The St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity in St. Paul and a doctorate in educational leadership from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota.