Gathering safely this season

As we find ourselves in the season of Advent, we have the opportunity to consider how we will approach the holidays: Will it be buying more presents, or being more present? How will we keep everyone safe, and not create “super-spreader events?”

The brief glimpse into the home life of Martha and Mary with their guest Jesus is a story we read only in Luke’s Gospel (10:38-42). We witness Jesus’ clear, empathic exchange with these two sisters. Mary has chosen to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to his teachings, while Martha has chosen to go to the kitchen and prepare a meal for them. When Martha becomes indignant and demands Mary’s help, Jesus simply replies, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

As we find ourselves immersed in holiday preparations and festivities, we may feel pressure to make this Advent and Christmas “just perfect for everyone.” Perfection is not what the Lord asks of us, but rather our willingness to be present to one another, thereby manifesting his spirit in our homes, our events and commitments, and throughout this entire season.

Could we each take a step back and assess our participation and commitments during this busy season? Could we discern what is most important for ourselves, our families, and our friendships, and do only those things we know will bring about peace and health for everyone?

According to Father David Lonsdale, S.J., discernment is our ability to allow our life to be formed and guided by the word of God so that it shapes our lives and the structures of our communities. Dr. Wendy M. Wright, author of “Sacred Dwelling: A Spirituality of Family Life” and professor of theology at Creighton University, states, “God is now truly present to us, woven into the fabric of our lives, present and waiting to be perceived and celebrated.”

We have the choice of whether we will create a home of holiness this season that will then influence and impact the coming year. We have endured 20 months of chaos and upheaval, and many of us are still choosing not to gather in large family groupings this season, due to the desire to diminish the spread of the coronavirus. We are coming to terms with what we thought would be a normal holiday season, only to learn that there is a new variant that threatens our well-being and resumption of normal activities.

We may not be happy about this reality, but we are now realizing that sacrifice is needed to help our communities, our country and our world return to something resembling normalcy. We don’t want to do online schooling in 2022. We don’t want mask mandates in the coming year for ourselves or our children. We want to return to regularity, something we likely took for granted before the pandemic.

Embracing a simpler holiday season may be what we need to do, even if we are not happy about it.

This holiday season, talk with your family and decide if there is a way to gather that allows you to see one another safely, but also to celebrate the beauty of this season. The concept of Advent is that it is to prepare our hearts for the birth of the baby Jesus at Christmas. Use discernment in these coming days to find ways to weave the love of Christ into your family gatherings and celebrations.

It is a choice of how we will gather, how busy and how preoccupied we will be during this season. Choose peace. Choose calm. Choose presence. Choose Christ.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist emeritus and a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury. She holds a master’s degree in theology from The St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity in St. Paul and a doctorate in educational leadership from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota.