Why I am Catholic — Kristy Lor-Ly

When the answer to most of your childhood questions usually ends with “it is fate,” it begs the questions of “Who am I?” and “What is the purpose of my existence?” Part of my identity is that I am a Hmong American woman born after the mass exodus of the Hmong people from southeast Asia following the Vietnam War.

With the trauma of war imprinted on the surviving generations, I saw that “fate” was a relevant, sometimes convenient, and perhaps the only way to explain my people and family’s circumstances. However, “fate” did not help me embrace who I was — and it definitely did not explain the purpose of my life.

As far back as I could track, the Hmong people had traditionally practiced animism — the belief in the interconnected spirit world with all living things, and their creation from a higher power. Our religious practices were strongly tied to a shaman, who could interact and connect us to the spirit world. However, the family traditions and spirituality could only be owned and practiced by the male members of each Hmong family. The female members could not hold that role, as we are expected to one day leave our physical and spiritual families to become part of our husband’s family and spiritual leadership. And into this world I was born and raised, shaped by that same idea of “fate” being my sole comforter through times of trials and tribulations.

As a child, I witnessed prayers from those who were grieving, hopeful, suffering, anxious, scared and happy in many shapes and forms. I wondered what a prayer was, and felt it was something so powerful it may transcend the “fate” I was born into. My first heartfelt prayer came when I was a preteen experiencing the trauma of my parents’ divorce. My life was in turmoil, and I prayed a higher power would let me have a family filled with love. Years passed, and I forgot about that prayer as I learned to navigate a broken family and young adulthood with minimal faith in humanity or myself.

But God heard my prayers even when I did not know him. Behind the scenes, he was preparing me for my new family. He opened the door and led me to meet and marry my husband, a lifelong Catholic, under extreme circumstances. I eventually became estranged from my family of origin as I followed my new faith and way of life. In those lonely days, God answered my prayers, bringing me into his divine family with infinite love and mercy.

Now I live in the love of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. And my family extends to our Holy Mother Mary, all the saints and angels, and my dear Catholic brothers and sisters. God also blessed me with a wonderful husband and two lovely children. I am no longer defined by “fate,” but found my family in faith, and that is why I am Catholic.

Lor-Ly, 36, is a parishioner of St. Vincent de Paul in St. Paul, which ministers to the Hmong Catholic community. She and her husband, Eric, have been married for 19 years and have two children. She is a registered nurse and enjoys reading, travel and history.