Summertime is wedding time

Spring, summer and better weather also mark the arrival of “wedding season,” the time when many engaged couples are married. It is an excellent time to shift the topic of this “Faith Fundamentals” column to a series on the sacrament of marriage. Marriage is one of the seven sacraments, and with holy orders is one of the two sacraments of commitment. The grace it provides keeps couples strongly bonded in love, and it maintains the strength of their union. It is vitally important to the couple, their families, the Church and society.

There are many facets to the sacrament of marriage, and a series of informative articles examining different aspects of marriage is planned for you over the coming months. They will address basic teachings on marriage, how to prepare for the sacrament, and the centrality of love between husband and wife.

Sacred Scripture has much to say about marriage, and articles are planned on the biblical basis of marriage, how Mary and Joseph are role models for married couples, how God provides the couple with a superabundant supply of grace throughout their life together, how a marriage is patterned on the unbreakable covenant of love that God has with the human race, how a marriage is a three-way partnership between God and the two spouses, how the couple with their children constitute a house church, and how spouses are to serve each other and sacrifice for each other.

Finally, there will be a number of articles on the symbols of marriage, with particular attention to the wedding ring, the unity candle, the three flowers of marriage and the wedding cross.

It is God’s plan that a marriage would be strong, and that the bond between a husband and a wife would be permanent, unbreakable and indissoluble. A friend of mine was in a graduate degree program in social work at a secular university, and the sociology department did a study on the predictive factors for success in marriage. I do not know if the study was ever published. I cannot cite the source. The results of the study were amazing. According to their research, the top predictive factor for success in marriage is a couple that kisses each other before they leave for work each morning, and the second highest predictive factor for success in a marriage is a couple that prays together. Secular researchers, professors and graduate students were shocked that prayer is so vital to the health and wellbeing of a marriage.

If a married couple wants to have a strong relationship and succeed in marriage, they should place prayer at the top of their priority list, and not just meal prayers, but prayer together — and every day. One of the best ways is shared prayer, spontaneous, from the heart, in one’s own words, said out loud in each other’s presence, speaking to God with words of praise and thanks, and sharing one’s concerns, needs and special requests, worries and fears, disappointments and sadnesses, hardships, remorse for misdeeds and intention to do better. It is faith sharing at its best, extremely personal and intimate, and a powerful unifying force.

The other pillar of a couple’s prayer life is the reception of the sacraments. Couples that want a strong marriage attend Mass each week and approach the sacrament of reconciliation regularly. The word of God, the body and blood of Christ and sacramental absolution are rich sources of grace. The couple that prays together stays together.

Father Van Sloun recently retired as pastor of St. Bartholomew in Wayzata. This column begins a new series on the sacrament of marriage. Previous series on the Eucharist, confirmation and reconciliation can be found at HERE.