Jill Simons

Jill Simons

Jill Simons had finally made it: She was a partner at her pediatric clinic, and she was recognized by her peers as an American Academy of Pediatrics fellow. Then she realized neither of those goals aligned with the desires of her heart and the principles of her faith — and she let them go. The 48-year-old pediatrician, a mother of 10-year-old twins and a member of Our Lady of Grace in Edina, looks back.

Q) How did your approach as a pediatrician change once you became a mom?

A) It was humbling to realize how much I didn’t know — especially my advice on sleep for young kids. I wanted to call up all the parents and be like, “I’m sorry!” I realized that, for the most part, parents know what’s best if they’re given the facts and listen to their instincts, which God gave us.

Q) Did you adjust your workload?

A) I became mostly a stay-at-home mom. I would work on weekends or evenings, when my husband was home, and took on administrative stuff and some writing and editing. I sold my share of the practice and went to per-diem (payment). It was hard (to scale back) because I have a lot to offer as a pediatrician, but I realized my needs are more with the boys. I didn’t want to shuffle them around to fit into my life, but for them to be the priority. It felt less chaotic.

Q) Was there pushback?

A) People would say, “Oh, it’s such a waste.” But the choice was obvious. And now my interest in highly educated moms who stay home has turned into a research project!

Q) You’re busy! You’re still a board-certified pediatrician, you’re researching and writing, your twins are distance learning, your husband is a cardiologist caring for COVID patients. How do you fit in self-care?

A) I look at self-care as a necessity. It’s an act of love: If I can keep myself calm, it keeps my boys calm, too. They’re little sponges. So, I get up early — around 4:30 or 5 a.m. — to get some stuff done. Then the day goes better. I run, I do yoga, I play violin. And I take a bubble bath every night — just five or 10 minutes. That’s my protected time.

Q) Violin?

A) I had bought a violin in college and took three or four lessons and then didn’t pick it up for years. My boys’ music teacher encouraged me to play it again. It has been so joyful to be able to play at a beginner level. It’s soothing. Everything I’ve done in my career, you do it for perfection, it has to be mastered. And violin is something I just let myself do to my ability. It’s for the pure love of it.

Q) That’s so refreshing!

A) My mom is 90 and she will take a sewing class online! My parents raised me to never stop learning. I’m so curious about life, and I love many things! We have never been bored during COVID. I want to try so many things!

Q) How does that relate to your faith?

A) I am in awe of so many things, and having kids magnifies that. Their curiosity about the world invigorated me to think in more profound ways. From the time they were little, watching spiders or studying dinosaurs and having to explain things to them and realizing, “Wow, I can’t explain it! That’s how God made it!” You realize how much of life is unimaginable and incomprehensible. Having kids and then (enduring) the pandemic — it gets you reflecting on what’s really important and appreciating the beauty of the world and the simplest things.

Q) Becoming a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics was a longtime goal of yours. It gave you an added credibility and made you a sought-after expert to endorse books and other projects. What changed?

A) It was heartbreaking over the years as I realized the AAP was drifting from things I held true and that I thought medicine held true. I had joined the committee on bioethics and raised questions and wrote letters, but there was just silence. I was especially troubled by their stance on pro-life issues and on transgender kids and transitioning. Then one day I was introduced to the American College of Pediatricians and I realized I was more in line with them. Their mission is to protect children from the moment of conception. And they go through a very vigorous vetting of sources when they publish something. That was a turning point: The AAP published some things that their own scientific committees disagreed with.

Q) How do you account for the shift you see in the AAP?

A) I think they’re a victim of culture. Liberals are more outspoken, and I think it has been easier for them to go along with that. They’ve just followed the mainstream and gotten away from the science.

Q) And you feel they’ve gotten away from your Catholic values. Can you give me an example?

A) The AAP would recommend kids don’t go to tanning beds or get a tattoo without their parents’ permission, yet they would advocate that a teenager has the right to an abortion without her parents’ knowledge.

Q) What about gender reassignment? Does the AAP advocate that teens should be able to access those hormones without their parents’ permission?

A) In some cases, yes. It’s still a grey area. It varies state by state. Generally, the way the AAP has handled it is to listen to the child and her wants, which is contradictory to a lot of the things we say to minors and ignores research and what kids are developmentally able to handle.

Q) Last year you relinquished your AAP membership and joined the board of the ACPeds, knowing it could cost you professional opportunities.

A) That was heavy on me. I knew some people would hesitate to use me as a book reviewer. The ACPeds has been misrepresented, and it hasn’t had the opportunity to respond because it’s still so small. But it got to a point where I couldn’t ignore what the AAP has been doing. And having boys, the older they get, I’m trying to be a model for them to do the right thing. We’re teaching them to stand up for what you believe in. That’s when it clicked: I have to do the harder thing.

Q) Without the stamp of the AAP, do you feel you’ll have to work harder to prove yourself?

A) It is more difficult. It requires putting up with a little misinformation but trying to steadily work to promote the truth.

Q) What sustains you?

A) I say a lot of Hail Marys. That’s my go-to. There are times I pray to God, “Just be with me.” I don’t even know what I’m asking for, or what I’m supposed to do, but I just need someone to help me through.

Get in touch with Simons through her website, drjillfunk.com.