Be the light of Christ for each other

What is it to truly love our spouse with a sacramental, covenantal love? It is the fullest response to the “yes” we made on our wedding day, and because matrimony is a sacrament, we experience the fulfillment of that “yes” all throughout the days we live as husband and wife.

This beautiful sacrament is so much more than receptions and flowers or music and measurements. This most special day of our lives signifies the culmination of our choice of life partner and the demonstration of our commitment to our vows. These vows, in a Catholic marriage, are stated in the presence of witnesses, presided over by an ordained priest or deacon and expected to last for a lifetime. In any conception, these are great expectations.

Maintaining the freshness of these vows is the task of the couple throughout their lifetime together. This requires that each individual enter into the seriousness of his or her vows, as well as the engagement of moral reflection, on a daily basis. Because we are free, we make the choice to continue to respond with a resounding “yes” to whatever awaits us on our journey of life with our chosen life partner.

God does not ask of us perfection in this endeavor, but rather, that we become part of the process of living out our sacramental vows. With and through his guidance and help, we will have the moral, emotional and mental strength to remain committed to our partner throughout our lifetime. As we extend a greeting of love toward our spouse this Valentine’s Day, may we do so with humility and compassion for the struggles they have endured during the past year, many of which we may be unaware.

Be a loving example of Christ’s merciful presence to one other all throughout this month of love. Find time to be with your spouse, either through attending Mass together, through a special meal on Valentine’s weekend, or through a simple hug at the end of each day. Let Christ’s love for your spouse shine through you and allow yourself to be filled with the Holy Spirit each time you encounter your spouse.

St. Paul wrote in Colossians: “Clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you might have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity.”

We have likely spent more time with our spouse throughout the past year than we ever imagined we would. Petty distractions and annoyances may have arisen from time to time, facilitating intolerance. We are encouraged by St. Paul not to let those aggravations affect our love and commitment toward one another.

Ask God to place a new and right spirit within you to help you love and forgive and cherish your spouse the way he does. Let this sentiment be part of your Valentine’s weekend, and you will both be doubly blessed for the journey of life you continue to honor and treasure together. Not only will you both receive the benefits of this appreciation, but you will also bless all those who share your bubble with you: your children and grandchildren. Hold up the light of Christ to light your path and the path for others.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a member of St. Ambrose of Woodbury. She holds a master’s degree in theology from The St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity in St. Paul and a doctorate in educational leadership from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota.