Priest draws on his own health issue in ministry as hospital chaplain

Father Marcus Milless remembers the year he was known as “Cancer Boy.”

He was a senior at St. John Vianney College Seminary in St. Paul in fall 2009. In July of that year, he was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma. He spent the entire school year undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

It was not at all what he had envisioned for his final year in minor seminary. But today, standing outside of Hennepin County Medical Center in downtown Minneapolis where he has spent the last two-and-a-half years serving as a hospital chaplain, the 32-year-old priest knows his cancer journey motivated him to pursue hospital ministry.

Having faced the prospect of dying before college graduation helps him understand what patients and their families struggle with, especially with the coronavirus infecting and, in some cases, killing more and more people in the U.S. and around the world. Then, there’s what medical personnel — doctors and nurses — face as they deal with an ever-increasing number of patients and stare down the threat of getting the virus themselves.

It all adds up to being in the eye of a storm that is likely to rage on for months, and trying to help people through it.

“I think it’s accurate to say it’s the front lines here at the hospital,” he said in an April 2 interview with The Catholic Spirit. “I was talking to a few of the nurses that have been dealing with some of the patients who have suspected COVID-19, (and some) who have had COVID. And, one of the things I mentioned to them, I said, ‘You’re like the Navy Seals. You’re going in for these rescue missions.’ And then, (one of them) said, ‘I love that, Father. No man left behind.’”

Ironically, Father Milless almost was left behind at the start of his senior year at SJV while battling cancer. After his diagnosis, he was “very nervous” and filled with questions about the disease and his future. What he thought would be a year cruising down what he called “easy street” toward graduation (and then entering The St. Paul Seminary the following fall) turned into a fight for survival. He even thought about leaving SJV to move back home to concentrate on his fight against Hodgkin lymphoma.

“I’ll never forget one night after chemo; I was feeling really sick, and on a natural level (was) like, ‘Where is God in this?’” he recalled. “I could not see God. So, I started praying the rosary. And, I just had this sense of the Holy Spirit with me, and this grace. Here I am, (age) 22, dealing with this and the Lord just showing me the grace in the midst of suffering. And that prepared me.”

Though he scaled back his activities, reducing his class load and studying alone in his room, he learned valuable life lessons that today aid his ministry to those who are sick and those who are grappling with deep issues like suffering and how to find God in the midst of it.

“I discovered that it’s not what I do that makes me a child of God, but who I am,” he said.

After deciding to stay at SJV, he lived on a floor with some other men, who called him “Cancer Boy.” He graduated on time from the University of St. Thomas and enrolled at The St. Paul Seminary in the fall, as he had previously planned. In summer 2012, he did hospital chaplaincy at North Memorial Hospital in Robbinsdale, and was ordained a priest in May 2014.

“I just sensed, in the midst of suffering, that Christ was present and didn’t abandon the people,” said Father Milless, who has been cancer free since graduating from SJV. “I got to see that firsthand at North Memorial and learn from Father (James) Livingston.”

He said the seed of his desire to become a hospital chaplain “grew a little bit more” from that experience. The final piece was meeting long-time hospital chaplain Father Jerome Fehn a few years ago at a gathering at St. Olaf in Minneapolis. Father Fehn talked about his experiences, and Father Milless expressed interest in the ministry.

“And, he wrote me a card (later) and he said, ‘It’s a great life. I’ve spent 36 of my 39 years (of priestly ministry) as a hospital chaplain,’” Father Milless said. “He said it’s a very life-giving ministry.”

In August 2017, an opening came up at Hennepin County, and Father Milless jumped on it. He deals with the ordinary and the dramatic, like the time last summer when a baby was born at only 22 weeks and nearly died. After a week in the neonatal intensive care unit right after birth, the infant took a turn for the worse and suffered cardiac arrest. It was a Saturday night, and a nurse started doing chest compressions, even though the baby weighed just 1 pound.

The baby improved overnight, but survival was still in doubt the next morning. So, Father Milless was called in to baptize the baby.

“I got the water and said, ‘I baptize you in the name of the Father,’” said Father Milless, who recently was reassigned to Abbott Northwestern Hospital in south Minneapolis. “And, as I said, ‘the Father,’ the baby started crying. And, as I poured the water over, and the mother and father started crying, and the nurse started crying.”

The baby ended up pulling through and was discharged four months later. Father Milless walked away from that moment firmly believing in “the grace of baptism” and that “God does work in extraordinary ways.”

He knows he could face many more situations like this as COVID-19 afflicts an increasing number of people and hospitals prepare for an influx of patients. As doctors and nurses get ready to meet the physical needs of patients with ventilators and oxygen, Father Milless gears up to meet their spiritual needs with prayer and the presence of Christ. He said he is not allowed into the room of COVID patients, but has ministered to the them over the phone and on the other side of protective glass that allows him to at least have visual contact. He also offers spiritual care to family members of patients.

“One of the things that I’ve been meditating on is (the Gospel of) John 12,” he said. “This is the hour of Christ, and Jesus wants us to stay in this hour with him.

“This hour will define us, and so we’re called to stay in the midst of the suffering and trust that the Father will provide for us.”

Ministering on the front lines has created opportunities for him to talk about the faith with people, as they begin thinking more about death because of the COVID-19 pandemic. He recalled a recent conversation with a nurse, who said she was afraid of dying and wondered where God was in the midst of this health crisis.

“These are things that are being brought out that, normally, people wouldn’t talk about,” he said. “But, as everyone is putting on the masks (over their faces), the masks of their souls are coming off, and we really see where people are at with God. And, it’s a moment to really speak the words of truth, and of resurrection and of life.”

It’s also a time to be practical, which is why he recently got tested for the coronavirus — it was negative — even though he is not aware of having any contact with someone who has tested positive. He said he tries to apply the practical and the spiritual in his ministry, which adds up to a principle that guides him as he walks the hospital’s hallways:

“I just want to make sure that I’m bringing the love of Jesus, but not the virus.”