On the virus frontlines: ‘We’re not giving up,’ nurse says

“We pride ourselves on being able to help the sick, but now there’s always that ‘what if’ in the back of our minds,” Vanderberg said. “In Italy they’re having to make heartbreaking choices of who gets to live and who gets the resources the hospital has left. I can’t imagine if it were to get to the point where someone walked up to me and I had to say ‘We’re not going to treat you,’ like some health-care workers in Italy have had to say.

“I can’t even fathom having to say those words.”

As of March 30, there were close to 700 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Alberta and more than 7,700 across Canada.

While it is a far cry from the 100,000 cases and over 11,500 deaths in Italy, Vanderberg says she and her fellow health-care professionals are both cautious and hopeful that the outbreak can be stopped.

“Today we’re OK, and we feel prepared,” she said. “But there’s always something new to learn about how we will protect ourselves. You’re constantly so hyper-vigilant over things that would normally never give you anxiety, like washing your hands or touching your face.

“Whatever happens, we’re not giving up. We hope people trust us and believe that we will get through this and we will take care of everyone.”

Vanderberg was devastated the first time she saw her co-workers’ faces covered by protective equipment with fear in their eyes. It affected her so strongly that she wrote about it on social media.

“I cried at work this day. I cried a lot. I cried more than the time I handed a five-month-old deceased baby to her parents so they could hold her one last time,” Vanderberg wrote in a March 24 Facebook and Instagram post that went viral.

“This is the day I realized that COVID-19 was right here, in a place I call home. It’s the day I realized it was just the beginning.”

Vanderberg was surprised by the amount of attention and comments her post received.

“I wanted to express in a very raw and real way just what we are going through,” she said. “At the Grey Nuns, we truly feel like a family. We thrive on the social aspect of our job and hold it dear to us. Now, we can no longer see each other smile; our laughs are muffled by our masks. Those were once the things that kept us going.”

For many health-care professionals, faith is an indispensable resource during this difficult and traumatic time, says Dr. Mary Ellen Haggerty, president of St. Luke’s Physicians Guild of Alberta, which represents Catholic doctors in the province.

“It’s a lot to put your life on the line, especially if you’re working in an intensive care unit during this pandemic,” said Haggerty, a family physician in Edmonton. “You always realize there’s a possibility that you can get this disease yourself. Already, many doctors have been infected and died in other places. So faith is an asset for coming to terms with that reality.”

Vanderberg agrees.

“It gives my family comfort and hope, knowing there is a greater power and we’re working with Him,” said Vanderberg.

“A lot of our nurses go to work every day with faith that we are being protected by God. It definitely helps, but there’s no denying that fear is still there. All the faith in the world could not take away the fear that a lot of our health-care workers have right now.”

But Vanderberg said she is hopeful that, because of social distancing and other protective measures, she and her colleagues are prepared for the challenges ahead.

“As a nurse, I signed up for this, and I love what I do,” Vanderberg said.

“My job is to care for the sick and the scared, and I will do so, every day, with brave eyes and a masked smile. I do not ask for sympathy. I just ask for understanding.”

(Grandin Media)