A recent over-the-coffee discussion with a priest friend of mine still tugs at my heart. We were discussing spiritual fatherhood, a key role of every Catholic man — married or single — given our lot in life, which hopefully and prayerfully follows in accord with God’s plan. He posed a question as I was sharing some thoughts about June’s Catholic Watchmen intentions: “How are you a spiritual father?”

During June, our prayer intentions are for men to strive to be spiritual fathers like St. Joseph. That all men develop and strengthen in spiritual fatherhood as they protect, provide and lead their families in the faith. Hence, as my friend subtly asked the question, I circled the wagons, attempting to produce some real-life, situational examples in my response to defend my spiritual leadership as a father. While our disciplines as watchmen provide sound, fundamental and relevant ways to respond to the how and what it looks like to be “a (present) spiritual father” — finding words to illustrate this responsibility and accountability can be more complex. That’s why we pray for God’s grace to lead us, and then put our prayer into action.

Spiritual fatherhood does not escape the social, intellectual, or moral forces — the dynamics of life — that influence all of us as we respond to our own personal situations that can tug at us. In his apostolic letter “Patris Corde” on the 150th anniversary of St. Joseph as the patron of the universal Church, Pope Francis comments that: “Fathers are not born, but made. A man does not become a father simply by bringing a child into the world, but by taking of the responsibility to care for the child. Whenever a man accepts responsibility for the life of another in some way, he becomes a father to that person.”

The Holy Father’s comment stresses the importance of a multi-faceted, spiritual fatherhood — biologically-driven or otherwise. Not just to our children who are at home or are on their own — but also for others who look to perhaps you as a spiritual leader — explicitly or implicitly in the role — such as in men’s ministry apostolates. Certainly, as spiritual fathers, we are compelled to “get it right” — starting at home — in providing and securing a Catholic, faith-filled environment. Yet, as Catholic Watchmen it is also our duty to build fraternity and evangelize other men in parish life. That is how we multiply our efforts, developing and establishing more St. Joseph-type leaders in our sphere of influence, where God places us to be effective in the lives of others. Not only does the home front benefit, but the parish also gains formidable disciples — and the greater community flourishes.

St. Joseph understood the dynamics of spiritual fatherhood. Heart, soul, body and mind — St. Joseph trusted in God’s plan to provide, protect and lead his family to various places with uncertain situations ahead. Early on in the Catholic Watchmen movement, principles of spiritual fatherhood to help men strive to be like St. Joseph were derived from Devon Schadt — co-founder of the Fathers of St. Joseph — an apostolate that works for the renewal of authentic (spiritual) fatherhood: 1) fully commit to fatherhood — it is a vocation to bring souls to be adopted children of God; 2) continually pray to grow in fatherhood — an inner prayer life that always reaches out to God for help; 3) make spiritual fatherhood your primary work — sacred work with a vigilance that battles Satan who wants to break down families; 4) demonstrate the sacrificial love of a father — cherish your family, practice virtue, lead with charitable authority in good and bad times; and 5) spiritually adopt and bring your children (and others) to Christ — be present and active in practicing, teaching and passing on the Catholic faith, especially the sacraments.

The Year of St. Joseph perpetuates in the heart of the Catholic Watchmen. Our life of sacrificial love is not our own. Accepting responsibility for the lives of others — as self-gift with St. Joseph as our model — is what truly makes us happy, brings us joy and fulfills us. This is why — as difficult and unsettling as the dynamics of life can be — we are to courageously stand in the breach as spiritual fathers.

Deacon Bird ministers to St. Joseph in Rosemount and All Saints in Lakeville, and assists with the archdiocese’s Catholic Watchmen movement.