A spoonful of honey: beekeeper leads with kindness

Life would’ve looked very different if Roy Dick had stayed in seminary and pursued priesthood. Instead, he got married and had four kids, served as a Catholic school principal and a director of religious education, tutored and coached, supported pro-life causes and focused on his seven grandchildren. “I never looked back,” said Dick, now 79, a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury. “I went full speed ahead.”

Q) What drew you to priesthood?

A) My parents were good friends with our pastor, so after confession on Saturday night, Mom and Dad and all of us kids would go over to the rectory and they would play cards with the pastor and his housekeeper. We would fall asleep on the carpet, and when they were done playing cards, they’d wake us up and take us home.

The priest was our hero. We admired him to no end, so my twin brother, Ray, and I decided real early on that we were going to be priests. We entered minor seminary, then had a year of novitiate and four years of philosophy. The education we received was unbelievable. It has stayed with me.

Q) But priesthood wasn’t for you — specifically, the vow of celibacy. You left seminary after years at major seminary, The St. Paul Seminary in St. Paul.

A) I felt I had a vocation to priesthood. I did not feel I had a vocation to celibacy. I had to be honest with myself and my bishop. I didn’t feel like I was letting anyone down, and when I informed my family and my friends, I found support all the way around.

I never really thought about what it would have been like to be a priest. Once Sally and I got married and had kids, we were pretty occupied raising our family. I devoted my life to being a Catholic school principal and a director of religious education, so I ended up serving the Church and my family anyway.

Q) You’re still pretty occupied. All four of your kids live nearby and your grandkids are now making memories in your home, where their parents grew up. It’s a sacred space.

A) On Saturday night, we had a sleepover with Andy’s kids. Sunday night was a sleepover with Sarah’s kids. It’s amazing what comes out of their mouths and out of their hearts. It’s just beautiful.

I give them a blessing before bed, just as I always gave our children when they were little: “May God bless you and keep you happy and safe for a long, long life.”

Q) What was the key to your success as a principal?

A) I was able to find and hire some wonderful teachers, and of course it’s the teachers that make a difference in a school. Every morning I would go to each classroom and greet the teacher and ask if they needed anything or wanted anything and wish them a good day.

When I did the annual teacher reviews, I tried to find the things each teacher did well and encourage them to do more of that rather than pointing out the things they weren’t doing well. If I focus on a person’s weaknesses, I was afraid they’d get discouraged or despondent, which would make matters worse. If it’s a weakness already, you’re not going to make it into a strength. So, I thought: Let’s focus on their strengths. The same was true for parenting and coaching and tutoring.

Q) What’s the secret to a happy marriage?

A) Kindness and loving communication. When you’re looking for a marriage partner, look for somebody who’s kind. Physical attraction is wonderful, but that’s not going to make a good marriage. What’s going to make a good marriage is people who are kind to each other.

If you’re looking for trouble, you’re going to find it. But what does that solve?

I have my faults, and if Sally wanted to focus on those, she could find all kinds of them. But she doesn’t.

Q) You’re quick to laugh. That’s a virtue!

A) I like looking at the brighter side of things. Life is short — let’s find the fun in it all. If you’re looking for darkness, you can find darkness. If you’re looking for light, you can find light.

Q) What do you love about being Catholic?

A) I love that we have a pope — leadership from the very top trying to keep us together. I like that the homilies and readings are focused on adults.

I mourn for the sins we’ve committed in our Church — the Crusades, the selling of indulgences, the tolerance of sexual abuse — but we still can and we do rise above that. We go back to what Jesus taught, and then we’re OK again.

Q) What does it take to be a lifelong learner?

A) A little humility. Ray and I were co-valedictorians of our high school. I thought I knew everything.

But now, Sally and I like to do the crossword every day, and almost every day there’s a word in there that I’ve never heard of before.

It took me a while before I realized that I don’t know everything.

Q) You wrote a comprehensive biography of your dad and your mom, who have passed away — and then your autobiography. That’s a feat!

A) When my grandparents came to this country — Johann and Magdalena Dick — if they had left a biography, that would’ve been so much fun for me to read, to see where they were coming from and what they were thinking. So, I wanted to do that for posterity. I love the stories my dad and my mom told, and some of mom’s favorite expressions — I wanted to make sure those lived on.

Maybe some great-great-grandchild will pick up my book and get to know me a little better.

Q) What do you know for sure?

A) I know that I don’t know what’s going on in people’s lives. Some people are in a terrible marriage, they’re in a terrible job, and I just don’t know. I know I have to be slow to judge.

Q) You’ve been a beekeeper for 35 years. What got you started?

A) I needed a hobby, and it was very inexpensive at that time. You could buy a three-pound package of bees for $20. Now they’re $150.

Q) What have you learned from bees?

A) They have a leader. It’s like in our Church, we have a pope. They have a queen, and everything revolves around the queen. They’re willing to sacrifice themselves to protect her. They all work together for a common goal, which is what we should be doing in our Church.

Q) How much honey do your bees produce?

A) Last year we had two hives, and I would guess we got 150 pounds of honey. There’s a pound in each jar. This year we have 12 hives. We just installed them — four in my backyard and eight at a hobby farm.

Q) A jar of honey has become your trademark gift.

A) It’s a gift that keeps giving. Some people tell me they put a tablespoon in their oatmeal every morning. It’s not something you use once and it’s over. It represents kindness and thoughtfulness.

Q) There’s that St. Francis de Sales quote that you can attract more flies with a spoonful of honey than a whole jar of vinegar.

A) That’s exactly what I was trying to say before but didn’t say very eloquently. If you focus on the good things, rather than the negative things, people will rally around and do good.