Spirit-shaped family life

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We experienced the feast of Pentecost only a few weeks ago, and hopefully the joy of the Holy Spirit filling us with his mission and purpose for our lives has not faded from our spiritual view. For it is a fact that Jesus overcame death and sent the Holy Spirit to fill us with his conviction and mission that we must now embrace, go out and transform the world.

As the Catechism states, the knowledge of faith is only possible in the Holy Spirit, as it explains: “to be in touch with Christ, we must first have been touched by the Holy Spirit. He comes to meet us and kindles faith in us” (CCC, 683).

Catherine Mowry LaCugna, Catholic theologian, clarifies this as she teaches “life in the Spirit is life in Christ.” She reminds us of Cyril of Alexandria’s statement “we become by grace what God is by nature.” In order to do this, LaCugna explains, “our ‘personhood’ is to become what God’s personal reality already is: boundless self-giving, love poured out for the sake of life, and that which creates inclusive communion among persons.”

In our fast-paced, overly-busy culture, this may not seem possible or something we could help our family attain, but imagine if it was! Imagine that our personhood was fulfilled in our self-giving love, poured out for the sake of those we care about most in our lives. This love would create the inclusive communion among those who have been given to us through the grace of the sacrament of matrimony and the children that have ensued.

This gift of communion among persons is extended to us through the Holy Spirit, which we received most fully on Pentecost. We remembered the coming of the Spirit as tongues of flame on the Apostles in the locked room, and that same Holy Spirit comes upon us, as well, filling us with our purpose and mission to serve others in the name of the risen Lord.

Are you willing to serve those in your family and give to them the love you have been given in the name of Christ? According to Norman Epstein and Donald Baucom, professors of psychology at the University of Maryland and the University of North Carolina, respectively, when we are in an intimate relationship with our spouse, we ideally fulfill a strong need for “belongingness,” which brings about psychological well-being. The experience of belonging is realized in our need for affiliation, intimacy, altruism and succorance, or providing assistance to someone in need, all of which lead to a more secure bond with our spouse and family members.

In order to achieve this sense of belongingness for all family members, which will result in security for them, we must be willing to become what God already is: boundless self-giving, love poured out for the sake of life, and that which creates inclusive communion among persons. We can only do this when we are filled with the Holy Spirit.

What small acts of kindness or attentiveness could you extend to your family members to demonstrate your love for them? Perhaps it will be to say ‘’no’’ to doing one more thing outside of your home and advocate for more family time. Perhaps it will be to take a walk with an adolescent, go for a cup of coffee with your spouse or offer to babysit for grandkids so their parents can have a night out. Whatever you do to express your simple, genuine care and love for your family members, do it in the name of the risen Lord, and bring the Spirit of Christ more fully into your family and into our world.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a member of Guardian Angels in Oakdale. She holds a master’s degree in theology from The St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity in St. Paul and a doctorate in educational leadership from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota.