Knowing your ‘why’

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When I was a practicing therapist, I would often talk with my clients about “knowing our why.” Our “why” was the reason, or reasons, we told ourselves was the impetus for the actions, or inactions, we took in life. When we know our “why,” we can more clearly understand the “what” we must do to achieve this “why.” And our “what” always sends us back to our “why,” so that the process is circular in nature, as well as progressive.

Our “why” acts as a compass for our life, helping us identify with the core beliefs we say we hold true, whether we actually do or not. When we attempt to put our “why” into action by the “what,” if there is no consistency, no joy, no life for us there, then we can know our “why” is inaccurate and needs to be addressed.

Our “why” should always be informed and infused with the will of God for our lives, which is a graced experience. When we pray to God and ask for his grace to know his will, we are opening ourselves to an entirely new experience. This new experience may hold surprises for us because we will be called to live more authentically true to the nature God has uniquely given to each one of us.

Pope Francis in “Fratelli Tutti” is calling each one of us to be “true people of dialogue,” as we help create a world of peace. We are to become “an artisan of peace” as we extinguish hatred and open new pathways of dialogue. If such a change in our world is created through our consistent actions related to our “why,” which hopefully includes the desire for peace in our broken world, then we will become mediators for peace.

In “Veritatis Splendor,” St. John Paul II reminds us not to be conformed to this world, but rather to strive for things from above. We are to “cast light on the exalted vocation of the faithful in Christ and on their obligation to bear fruit in charity for the life of the world.” We are also called to “look for a more appropriate way of communicating doctrine to the people of (our) time.” The saint is calling us to be present to others in our path each day and to live a life that is open and accessible to others.

We will find it very difficult to live the mandates of Pope Francis and St. John Paul II if we are distracted and unaware of our “why.” We will not be able to resonate with our “why” because we are not paying attention to the most important things, but rather overwhelmed with the tasks of each day, which often do not allow us to focus on the higher calling given to us by God.

What can you do today to take a step back and ask yourself the deeper questions about your “why” in life? Ask yourself how God is calling you to align your will with his will, so you can more clearly understand your “why.” Expect this little exercise to take you a bit of time and thought. Your answer to the question of your “why” in life will not be found by asking Google or Siri, but will come from deep within your own heart, as you spend time in prayer and attentiveness to God’s will for your life.

You may want to go to the adoration chapel and simply ask the Lord what he wants for your life: What is his purpose for which you have been sent to this earth? Open your heart to whatever response you receive. Then take action on what you heard him say to you. If you are wrong, any action you take will be good if it is ordained by God. Pray each day for clarity and consistency of action, as you align your will with the will of God for you.

Dedicate yourself to understanding what God is asking of this precious gift of life you have been given and ask for his grace to understand his voice in your head and heart as you attempt to live authentically true to your calling. Ask him to help you understand your “why” and the “what” you are to do to help create his kingdom on this earth.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist emeritus and a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury. Learn more at her website ifhwb.com.