Finding God on the mountaintop and in the valley

For nearly a decade, Jen Messing has taken young adults into the wilderness to teach them St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body through her nonprofit Into the Deep. As she plans for its 10-year-anniversary celebration, to be held March 19, she’s reflecting on some epic adventures. “It’s been amazing to watch God kick into gear,” said Messing, 48, a member of St. Charles Borromeo in St. Anthony.

Q) Early in life your dad fostered a love of the outdoors.

A) We spent a month every summer at our cabin on Crane Lake, on the edge of Minnesota and Canada: no electricity or plumbing, just propane and an outhouse. We loved it. My dad’s a fireman, so we got carefully trained in how to build a fire and keep it burning well. I have fond memories of having competitions with my siblings of who can build a one-match fire.

Q) Any memorable animal encounters?

A) Once I was walking behind our cabin, toward the beaver pond, and I saw five wolf pups laying under this cedar tree. It was the coolest thing! Another time I got about 15 feet from a black bear. We just gazed at each other. I was absolutely at peace, no fear. It stood up on its hind legs and sniffed the air, then turned around and walked back into the woods.

Q) Your time in nature, as a teen, helped you recognize a spiritual hunger.

A) Something in you just knows that you are in God’s neighborhood, and he is right there with you. It’s like, “I’m either going to lie to myself and deny you, or I’m going to say hello.”

We’re not used to living in the original cathedral that God put us in, the outdoors. We were meant to see him, our eyes were meant to be lifted up to the heavens, just like a cathedral. We were meant for union with God, each other and creation. There’s nothing New Age-y about that.

Q) Fast forward to age 28, when you listened to a Christopher West “Theology of the Body” cassette during a North Dakota road trip. You knew it held the answers to all of life’s big questions, and you wanted to crack it open for others.

A) I wanted to give talks and lead retreats, but I was freaked out about how to run my own business.

Q) What did you learn from starting a business?

A) God is in control! He prompts what he wants done. I tried to get out of it so many times. I tried tucking myself in under other people’s organizations. God kept kicking me out of the nest.

I dove in by getting an office, and a friend found someone who managed the nonprofit part for me. I asked my spiritual director, “Am I stupid for getting an office?” He said, “Well, you move in, you can move out.” That gave me the courage to at least try.

Q) Little did you know Into the Deep retreats would attract 500-some participants.

A) There have been so many stories of learning how to trust God. Just let it go! I didn’t have staff for seven years. It was very slow growth, like slowly adding summer interns and then a 10-hour person. Now I have two staff people.

Q) You’re following in JPII’s footsteps by taking young adults into the mountains.

A) I really want to give people space, so instead of a long talk, I lace the entire trip with commentary. You get into a talk naturally on a three-hour hike. And that’s what JPII did: He would paddle up next to someone on his kayak and talk. He dove so deep into what it means to be a human person.

Q) Your retreats must be powerful for teens who never unplug, receiving snaps at 3 a.m.

A) If you’re filled with noise all the time, you can’t make intimate contact with your own heart and with God. I went with a group of middle-school girls to look at a moonrise on Lake Superior, and we just stayed there for two hours. One girl said, “I’ve never spent this much time looking at the stars.” I’m like, “That’s what nighttime is meant for, not for looking at screens.”

Q) Last March you were diagnosed with grade 3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Since then, you’ve drastically changed your diet.

A) It’s been really good for me to have a reason to watch what I put in my body and clean up my act. There was a discipline that I didn’t have to heed before.

Q) Do you miss sugar?

A) God is the Grand Coordinator. I made my first appointment on Ash Wednesday, and I always give up sugar for Lent, so it was hard, but not as hard as it could have been. They asked for a level that also required cutting gluten and dairy. There was a point where I could tell I was not addicted, but it took a long time — around Thanksgiving.

Q) Does Theology of the Body look different now, in light of cancer?

A) An oncologist gives you all these stats. But cancer is going to behave differently in you than in anybody else because you are unrepeatable. That blew me away. God was about to teach me the building blocks for being healthy or having cancer, and he was about to teach me the building blocks for sin and disease.

Q) A milk duct in your breast basically went rogue. Does it ever feel like your body turned against you?

A) Nobody’s asked me that. I never felt like my body is attacking me because I recognize that my choices did this to my body. My body is responding to the stresses and the anger.

Q) A cancer diagnosis forces you to confront your mortality.

A) When I first found the lump, I seriously had this thought: “Sweet! I want to hang out with you, Lord!” Then I thought, “Oh, I suppose people will be mad at me if I don’t fight it.” That was my first response.

Q) Do you realize how unusual that is?

A) I feel really blessed that God has given me a detachment. I am really excited to be with him. I love him as a spouse. I’m glad that was my knee-jerk reaction. It reveals something about where my heart is.