“I always had a secret desire to build a shrine,” said Mildred Ruhr, a 100-year-old widow who belongs to St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Hastings and resides in an assisted-living home nearby. It wasn’t until her 90s that her dream came true: She financed an open-air chapel at the St. Patrick’s cemetery in Inver Grove Heights, where her parents are buried. The labor of love became a family affair — designed by her nephew Stephen Brenna, built by multiple relatives and completed in 2016.
Q) How did the chapel come to be?
A) My brother Charles had the idea to do something in honor of our parents, Charles and Sophie Rosenberg. My nephew Steve designed the chapel with a Gothic influence. He covered it with a limestone plaster that creates an elegant, Old-World finish, and the Celtic cross is a tribute to St. Patrick. It contains seven religious medals — one for each of us children.
Mom and Dad, they’re on top of the hill. My husband is there, too. He’s waiting for me. We have ours down in No. 13, on the lower part.
Q) Are you aware of other cemetery chapels like yours?
A) This is probably the first chapel like that to be put in a cemetery. The all have columbariums. But this is something new, and I would like other churches to pick up the idea and do the same so that when a person can’t have a Mass or ceremony in a church, they can have it there at the cemetery.
The Catholic Church is falling behind and churches are closing in many places. Maybe all that will be left some day will be the cemeteries, and if these cemeteries have a little chapel there, it will give them so much more meaning.
Q) This chapel is now part of your legacy.
A) I’ve always loved shrines. They provide a physical education, something you see with your eyes. They teach more than anything else. And they live on!
This was done within the last 10 years of my life — so you may not accomplish anything until you’re 90!
Q) And you didn’t learn organ until you were in your 80s. You’re self-taught!
A) I haven’t played for about six months. But I could play a little bit. I won’t give up my organ.
Q) You hardly have any wrinkles! What’s your secret to aging well?
A) The book of Exodus says: “Honor your father and your mother and you will live a long life.” I’ve lived the long life the Bible promises. It’s held true. I didn’t drink or smoke. I always got a lot of sleep. I always ate well. I was outdoors a lot.
Q) You also embraced the arts — writing poetry, painting china, making greeting cards. Does your love of art relate to your faith?
A) Oh yes! I would sit in church as a child and admire all the statues and the beautiful Stations of the Cross that they had at St. Matthew’s (in St. Paul). That was my introduction to art. I love to go to church because of its beauty.
Q) Looking back, can you see God’s hand in your life?
A) If the Lord wants you in a certain place, at a certain time, he may have to go to extremes to get you there. You think, “Oh, I lost my job!” You’re not where the Lord wants you. And he’s going to have things happen to you till he gets you where he wants you. I see it so clearly. It’s a gift of aging. You see more over the years and then you can look back and pick up where certain things happened, and it was all for the better.
Q) You had to make peace with the fact that you were not able to have children.
A) They say it takes a village. It’s so true! Children need more than a mother and a father. They need other adults to cover the bases that parents can’t. Kids ask you questions they wouldn’t ask their parents. Our house was full of everybody else’s children. It was the headquarters in every neighborhood we lived in.
When my husband, Edward, and I lived in Vegas, the kids out on the streets were the children of show girls who slept during the day. The kids would come over and I would entertain them and give them treats and teach some art lessons.
Q) It sounds like you have vivid memories of those children.
A) It was almost 50 years ago. We got transferred for Edward’s work. I had left this beautiful house on the water and I was now in this desert place. The day after we moved in, I was in bed crying. Then this little boy Jeff appeared in his swimming trunks — 4 or 5 years old. I asked, “Do you want to meet my little dog?”
Every day he came over to see me. He said his stepdad hated him. One day he told me his grandmother was coming and maybe he’d have enough money to buy one of my porcelain mice for her. I waited the next day, and he didn’t come up. I waited the next day, and he didn’t come up. He was shipped to Milwaukee and hadn’t been told.
I never saw Jeff again. I’ve still got his little mouse, waiting to give it to him.
Q) All these years! Now he’s in his 50s.
A) He was such an interesting boy. He taught me about the weather and the cicadas.
Q) He needed you and you needed him.
A) Oh yes! All these children filled my family. I didn’t have one.
Q) How did you cope with the death of your husband in 2009?
A)When I lost my husband, I decided, “Gee, I’m in unfamiliar territory here. I’ve got to start making some friends.” So, I stayed for coffee after Mass and one lady suggested I get a cat. They say people who have pets live longer.
Two weeks later she came over and took me to get one. I chose a little white kitten and named her Tinkerbell. She’s worked out perfect. She hops on my blanket in the morning and we cuddle. That’s our little love session.
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