Embracing joy

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Embracing joy feels so good, especially as we begin a new school year and all the possibilities it holds for learning during the continued emergence from the pandemic.

Joy is the response we are encouraged to make toward every situation we face, as we trust that God will bless us for our faithfulness and righteousness. No matter what happens to us as Christians, the message of the cross is that we will rise stronger and more resilient through all we have faced.

While joy is the ideal response to the trials we have faced, the more common response may be disappointment, negativity and exhaustion. It is nearly impossible to stay focused on the good when our brains gravitate toward negative, discouraging thoughts. Narrative Therapy co-creators Michael White, an Australian social worker, and David Epston, a New Zealand therapist, proposed that the stories we tell ourselves and the way we choose to see and talk about events shapes our experience of those events. The pioneers of this groundbreaking therapy in the 1980s and 1990s helped us focus on the entirety of our lives, the difficult things that happened to us, as well as the strengths we used to manage those events.

Dr. Martin P. Seligman, a psychologist and professor of psychology, proposed a similar idea a decade later, as he stated that attempting to fix our problems forces us to focus on our problems, rather than the good that happens. He claimed that our mental health requires that we focus on our well-being and happiness, as well as the difficult experiences that occur.

In a similar vein, Pope Francis encourages us to focus on the positive experiences of life. In December 2020, the pontiff urged us to integrate these Principles for Living a Happy Life into our everyday experiences: be giving of yourself to others; move quietly and peacefully; make time for playing with children, for leisure, reading and enjoying art; rapidly forget the negative; respect those who think differently; and actively seek peace. All of his suggestions lead to a life in which we flourish, rather than languish, and help change the direction of our world.

St. Paul encouraged us to focus on the good things in life, as he stated in Philippians 4:8-9, “Brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”

Incorporating a more positive attitude when we feel discouraged is not an easy or simple task. It requires us to check our thinking and challenge negativity that causes us to feel disheartened, which saps our energy. It may seem easier to simply allow ourselves to continue to feel dispirited or depressed, rather than to muster the energy to see the positive aspects of what has happened over the past 18 months and to find something redeeming in them.

Becoming a more positive person requires that we do all we can to see the good in the situations we face and to celebrate the good, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. When we do this, we begin to change our attitude about life itself. Seeing life from a rosier perspective tends to produce more roses. We love the fragrance of roses and the beauty they bring to the bouquets we create. Roses also have thorns, which we are well aware of as we carefully handle them. If we focused on the thorns, we wouldn’t enjoy the beauty of the roses.

This month, do all you can to see the beauty around you and celebrate it. Look for something enriching in each day, acknowledge it and offer gratitude to God for his goodness and faithfulness. Become a more positive person by choosing to see and cultivate the good in each day.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist emeritus and a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury. She holds a master’s degree in theology from The St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity in St. Paul and a doctorate in educational leadership from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota.