Psychologist advises teachers, parents on helping anxious children 

With a new school year in sight, licensed clinical psychologist Jules Nolan joined “Practicing Catholic” radio show host Patrick Conley to talk about how parents and teachers can help students impacted by sustained and unpredictable change like that initiated by the COVID-19 pandemic. She is a partner at Twin Cities-based Phoenix School Counseling, which provides counseling and consultation services to nonpublic schools, most of them Catholic.

These types of changes trigger a fight or flight response in not only the brains of children, but also in adults, Nolan said. And when that response is triggered, trauma reactions can result, she said.

“And that is exactly what this pandemic has caused,” Nolan said. “You can see big behaviors in classrooms, you can see an increase in kids having trouble paying attention, kids having trouble following the rules, even tantrums or fighting. We see a lot more anxiety in the classroom right now than we ever have before, and frankly, that was true pre-pandemic.”

Nolan said attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) used to be the most frequently diagnosed disability in a classroom, but today it is an anxiety disorder, and it crosses all ages.

“We see more anxious kids than ever before,” Nolan said.

But, she added, a subset of students have done well during remote learning because they already had some social anxiety, and had an easier time being at home and on camera. “That’s all well and good during the pandemic,” she said, but everybody has to go back to school.

Nolan advised teachers that children need to feel safe. “And when they feel safe in the classroom, they are able to learn,” she said.

Children who are in their “fight-flight brain” because everything is new again are not able to learn, Nolan said, and sometimes will break the rules and appear disrespectful or sassy. “And the truth is they need to feel safe,” she said. “They need to feel relationship. They need to feel like they know you care about them.”

Nolan advises teachers to take a “relationship first” approach and make sure every child knows they care deeply about him or her.

“Our Catholic schools, frankly, have a better time of this because we know that religion is a protective factor in mental health, and being part of a community is a protective factor,” she said.

Nolan suggests parents to do a lot of listening. They can help children recognize that the things they’re going through are tough things, she said, and that children can do tough things, and they can be afraid and be brave at the same time.

She said parents can think about easing a child’s reluctance to going back to school similar to learning to ride a bike. “You can help your kid learn how to ride a bike — not by yelling at them or scolding them or punishing them if they get off balance — but by holding on to the back of the seat a little longer and encouraging them,” she said.

Nolan also said that practicing gratitude, whether in prayer or in doing something for others, helps children’s brains become more resilient. To hear examples of ways children can practice gratitude, and to hear the full interview, listen to this episode of the “Practicing Catholic” radio show. It airs at 9 p.m. July 2, 1 p.m. July 3 and 2 p.m. July 4 on Relevant Radio 1330 AM.