Americans struggle with the Sabbath, but one St. Paul family is on a mission to help others rediscover its power

Taking Back Sunday

Scripture makes clear that the Sabbath is a day of rest. But for most Americans, including many Catholics, it ends up being a day of restlessness.

A nice, big brunch might be prioritized, trips to the office might be foregone and Mass might even be included. But rather than fulfillment, joy and refreshment, the Sunday experience of many today is marked by anxiousness, malaise and even a degree of depression.

This isn’t a completely new phenomenon. Nineteenth-century Italian poet Giacomo Leopardi, for instance, described Sunday as a day of “sadness and tedium” despite external festivities, as one mentally “returns once more to find his usual labor.” Likewise, the Hungarian psychoanalyst Sandor Ferenczi coined the term “Sunday neurosis” in the early 20th century to describe anxiety induced by the thought of the impending workweek.

But this Lord’s Day discontent seems especially pronounced in the contemporary United States. Terms like “the Sunday scaries” and “the Sunday blues” have recently entered the lexicon to describe the widely shared experience. Research in 2017 from job site Monster.com found that 76% of Americans (compared to only 47% of respondents from other nations) self-report “really bad” Sunday-night anxiety.

Michael Naughton can confirm that these numbers play out on the ground. The University of St. Thomas Catholic social teaching scholar says that of all the topics on which he presents, from theological anthropology to the common good, none resonates as much with his listeners as does the topic of getting Sunday right.

“It’s what the audience wants, because I think it’s what the audience needs,” Naughton said. “Most people know that they don’t have Sunday right.”

From restless to ‘Christmas’

It’s a position with which Naughton and his wife, Teresa, are all too familiar. The parishioners of Holy Spirit in St. Paul and parents of five say there was a time when their Sundays were “different” from the other days of the week, but they weren’t necessarily “special.” Sundays were approached as a kind of “mop-up day,” a day to get to housework and side projects that were left over from the workweek, with, in the words of Teresa, “Mass and some worship wedged in between.” The Lord’s Day might not have been a typical workday, but it was still defined by the same mentality. As a result, it didn’t provide much in the way of true rest and refreshment.

Perhaps things would’ve continued on the same way, if not for what happened in 1999. While presenting a paper at an academic conference in San Francisco, Naughton suffered an anxiety attack that significantly impaired his presentation. He describes what transpired as “one of the most humbling, perhaps even humiliating,” experiences of his professional life. And it left him searching for answers.

The professor, who today directs the Center for Catholic Studies at St. Thomas, experienced the anxiety attack as an attack on his “ability to do.” It underscored that there was not enough time in his life devoted simply to “being,” rather than constantly “becoming.” His focus on achieving had eclipsed his capacity to receive. As a result, too much of his identity was caught up in his accomplishments and work activities, a shaky foundation that ultimately left him unfulfilled and overextended.

Already reconsidering their Sunday practices in the lead-up to the Church’s Jubilee Year in 2000, the Naughtons committed to not working on the Sabbath. No chores or housework. No waking up early in the morning to write another academic article. No homework for the kids. The effects were immediately noticeable.

“It was like Christmas morning,” Naughton says of that first work-free Sunday, a day set apart simply to receive.

Getting Sunday right

The taste of true Sabbath rest has prompted in Naughton a decades-long and ongoing exploration of the Church’s teaching on the Lord’s Day, and a commitment to putting this wisdom into practice.

Central to this recovery has been the Naughtons’ engagement with St. John Paul II’s 1998 apostolic letter on the subject, “Dies Domini.” In the letter, the Holy Father articulates a theology of Sunday, characterizing each Sabbath as another Easter, and encourages Catholics to “not be afraid to give your time to Christ!” He also contrasts a true way of keeping Sunday holy, one marked by the joyful remembrance of God’s creation and saving work, with the modern custom of the “weekend,” which can all too often simply mean “vegging out,” or else resting primarily for the purpose of being better able to work on Monday.

While rest is important, the problem with the “weekend” approach is that it can “instrumentalize” Sunday, reducing it to a mere aid in getting ready for the workweek, locking people “within a horizon so limited that they can no longer see ‘the heavens,’” the pope wrote. Such a utilitarian approach can cut people off from the true grace of Sunday, which is meant to reground people within the reality of God’s gratuitous love, freeing them both from delusions of grandeur but also the false pressure to justify existence through activity.

“So, Sunday is about rest, but it’s a resting in the Lord, not just resting from activity,” Michael Naughton explained.

“It requires a shift in mindset,” Teresa added. “It’s a reorientation to who I am, what I am created for, and who I am in God’s plan.”

Another text that has deeply informed the way the Naughtons approach Sunday is Josef Pieper’s “Leisure: The Basis of Culture.” In this 1948 work, the German Catholic philosopher, who died in 1997, presents a definition of leisure quite different from how it is widely understood today: “an attitude of mind and a condition of the soul that fosters a capacity to perceive the reality of the world.”

Leisure, then, Pieper says, is not the mere absence of work, but is a contemplative habit that must be cultivated and embodied, without which humanity is trapped in a “total work” mindset that overemphasizes productivity and denies the most basic fact: that reality, and our lives, are gifts given. The greatest form of leisure, according to Pieper, is worship.

Written in a Germany still devastated by World War II, Naughton sees Pieper’s emphasis on the primacy of leisure and contemplation over work as a rejection of the Nazis’ totalitarian mindset, exemplified in one way by the words at the entrance to the Auschwitz concentration camp: “Work makes one free.”

“It ain’t going to set you free,” Michael said, noting that a similar lie can prey upon those living in a capitalistic society. “It’s going to disorder your life unless you first recognize that leisure is the basis of culture, and needs to inform the way we work and the kind of civilization that we build.”

The Naughtons have seen that if this is true of societal life, then it is also true for personal and familial lives. In fact, Michael noted that the failure to practice true leisure on the Sabbath isn’t merely a case of violating an external law. Instead, it can perhaps best be understood as self-imposed violence, as it cuts man off from having a true and full understanding of himself and his need to receive from God — without which the ill-ease and anxiety many experience on Sunday is a predictable outcome.

“I don’t break the Sabbath laws,” he said. “What will happen eventually is that the Sabbath will break me.”

The Naughtons’ study of the Church’s teaching surrounding Sunday has inspired each of their respective academic pursuits. Teresa’s final paper for her master’s degree in Catholic Studies, entitled “The Restoration of Time for the Lord,” includes a focus on the Sabbath as a “sanctuary of time.” Just as temples are consecrated spaces for God, Sunday is a time dedicated to worshipping and dialoguing with God, a wellspring that can then flow out into the rest of our days, marking them with an awareness of God’s lordship.

Perhaps ironically to some, Michael has developed his own thought on Sunday largely in the context of his focus on work. In fact, the thesis of his 2019 book, “Getting Work Right: Labor and Leisure in a Fragmented World,” is simple: “If we are to get Monday right, we must get Sunday right.”

Part of this is explained by the principle that people can’t give what they don’t already have. This applies to Sunday not just in the sense that people can’t work if they haven’t first rested, but that work can’t become an authentic gift of self to others if people haven’t first received their lives, abilities and circumstances as a gift from God. Work will inevitably tend toward the extremes of self-aggrandizing careerism or “it’s just a job” indifference if it isn’t rooted in authentic leisure that cultivates “the logic of the gift,” Michael said.

‘Eastering’ on Sunday

In his book, Michael suggests three essential habits for living the Lord’s Day well: silence, celebration and charity.

The Naughton family has done their best to embody these practices in different ways over the years, inspired by the examples of other Twin Cities Catholic families, and the practices of lay movements like Community of Christ the Redeemer. For instance, to cultivate silence, they generally fast from screens and technology on Sundays (though exceptions might be made for a catechetical video from the likes of Bishop Robert Barron). Rather than waking up early in the morning to squeeze in some extra writing time, Michael wakes up early to start the day in extended prayer. If an idea for work comes to him, he might scribble it down on paper, as opposed to opening up his laptop.

Celebrating on Sunday is about radically affirming the goodness of the Lord, and the heart of this celebration is the Sunday Mass. Preparation for fruitfully entering into the Mass begins with praying with the Sunday readings earlier in the week. The trip to church itself is also treated as a time of preparation; Teresa prefers to think of it as a “pilgrimage,” a time to reflect on the fact that Catholics around the world will be making a similar Sunday journey to Mass.

But the celebratory character of Sunday extends beyond the eucharistic liturgy. Teresa employs a number of rituals to ensure that it has a place in the Naughton household. In preparation for the Lord’s Day, the table is set with a runner that matches the liturgical season. At some point on Sunday morning, the Naughtons light a special Sabbath candle and say a special Lord’s Day prayer. Similarly, the family will try to end the day with a prayer of gratitude for the gifts of another Sabbath. Joy is cultivated in other ways too, such as with a big Sunday brunch, board games and books, a walk outside, sports with neighborhood families, and simple time together in conversation. These little touches make a big difference, and help the Naughtons remember that all of Sunday is for “eastering.”

Finally, the Naughtons live out the traditional practice of doing charitable works on Sunday in a variety of ways. For instance, Sunday charity could include volunteering at a homeless shelter, but it also might look like calling a family member who’s shut in and on their own. Inviting others over for a meal is another simple way of including others in the refreshment of the Sabbath, which the Naughtons suggest can be a powerful tool for evangelization.

The Naughtons might take Sunday more seriously than most, but they’ll be the first to tell you that getting Sunday right is always an ongoing process, never rigidly set in stone, and open to renewal, intentionality and a bit of flexibility. At different times, the family has made adjustments, perhaps by pulling back from a charitable endeavor that was beginning to dominate the day, or expanding their Sunday prayer practices now that most of their five kids are out of the house. When their children’s social lives and independence would crescendo in high school, they’d compromise by allowing homework or outside visits to friends after a certain time in the day.

The Naughtons will be the first to acknowledge that celebrating the Lord’s Day with this degree of intentionality requires sacrifices. For one, Saturday can’t be a day of lounging about: If one plans on embracing Sunday as a day of true rest, schoolwork and chores need to be done ahead of time. Additionally, to remove the burden of Lord’s Day planning from Sunday itself, Teresa will begin a conversation about their Sunday plan in the middle of the week, prompted by writing “Sunday” on every Wednesday in her calendar.

The Naughtons have also had to make tough choices about their children’s availability for outside activities on Sundays, like organized sports and work — though sometimes with surprising results. (For instance, when Teresa told one coach that her daughter Annie would be unavailable for softball practices on Sunday, the coach apologized and stopped scheduling practices on Sundays.)

However, these decisions to say “no” to something otherwise good in order to preserve the peace and sanctity of the Sabbath hasn’t always been met with praise and approbation from the Naughton kids. Still, even practiced imperfectly, Michael and Teresa have found their invigorated observation of the Lord’s Day to be an incredible blessing in their lives and the life of their family, cultivating a genuine sense of freedom.

“It kind of anchors the rest of your week,” said Teresa. “Once you start doing this, you’re surprised that you have time to get done the things you really need to do, and then other things just kind of fall away in their importance.”

Meanwhile, the importance and integrity of other things, like friendships and other relationships, have the space to be enhanced.

“When you protect Sunday, you protect your relationship with the Lord, and you protect your family and your marriage,” Michael said. “And we need a lot of protection.”

Sharing the good news

The Naughtons want to be absolutely clear about one thing: Living Sunday well will look different for each and every family. The two certainly don’t hold their family’s approach up as a one-size-fits-all model.

Still, they’ve reaped incredible rewards by striving to be faithful to the Church’s teachings on the Lord’s Day, and they want to share that bounty with others, especially in a day and age when so many view Sunday with either apprehension or boredom.

As a couple, the Naughtons have spoken on Sunday living to parish groups and archdiocesan deacons and their wives. Michael has spoken on the topic to audiences as varied as the archdiocesan men’s conference to the business students in his Faith and Work class.

Recently, and with the aid of web developer Karin Bertoldi, Teresa took the lead in launching a website jam-packed with resources for those interested in revisioning their Sunday practices. Called “Sunday Reclaimed,” the website’s content ranges from a summary of “Dies Domini” to testimonials from area Catholics on the impact of Sunday lived well. Original videos produced by the Naughtons’ son-in-law, Rob Gooding, communicate Church teaching in colorful and engaging ways, and a “Lord’s Day Challenge” provides a structured plan for anyone interested in trying something new.

Teresa hopes the website can serve as a resource for others, especially as the hopefully impending end of the coronavirus pandemic may be an opportunity to break old habits and forge new ones. The Naughtons would also like to see parishes take the lead in helping families keep Sunday holy. Banning organized sports on Sundays, making instruction in living the Lord’s Day a regular part of preparation for sacraments like confirmation and marriage, and opening up the parish gym or gathering space to give families in the community a “place for Sunday” are simple, potential steps.

The Naughtons aren’t trying to impose anything. Instead, moved by the peace and joy they’ve found in offering Sunday more fully to the Lord, their mission is more like encouraging their Catholic brothers and sisters to perform something like a Sunday examination of conscience — the fruit of which might be the replacement of the Sunday blues with the fullness of Sabbath rest.

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Dies Domini, Apostolic Letter on Keeping the Lord’s Day Holy

Pope John Paul II. 1998

• “Every seven days, the Church celebrates the Easter mystery. This is a tradition going back to the Apostles, taking its origin from the actual day of Christ’s Resurrection—a day thus appropriately designated ‘the Lord’s Day.’” (DD 3)
• “When Sunday loses its fundamental meaning and becomes merely part of the ‘weekend,’ it can happen that people stay locked within a horizon so limited that they can longer see ‘the heavens.’ Hence, although ready to celebrate, they are really incapable of doing so…The disciples of Christ…are asked to avoid any confusion between the celebration of Sunday, which should truly be a way of keeping the Lord’s Day holy, and the “weekend,” understood as time of simple rest and relaxation.” (DD 4)
• “I strongly urge everyone to rediscover Sunday: Do not be afraid to give your time to Christ! Yes, let us open our time to Christ, that he may cast light upon it and give it direction…Time given to Christ is never time lost, but is rather time gained, so that our relationships and indeed our whole life may become more profoundly human.” (DD 7)
• “All human life, and therefore all human time, must become praise of the Creator and thanksgiving to him. But man’s relationship with God also demands times of explicitly prayer, in which the relationship becomes an intense dialogue, involving every dimension of the person. “The Lord’s Day” is the day of this relationship par excellence when men and women raise their song to God and become the voice of all creation.” (DD 15)
• “(The Lord’s Day) recalls that the universe and history belong to God; and without a constant awareness of that truth, man cannot serve in the world as co-worker of the Creator.” (DD 15)
• “Insofar as this ‘remembrance’ is alive, full of thanksgiving and of the praise of God, human rest on the Lord’s Day takes on its full meaning. It is then that man enters the depths of God’s ‘rest’ and can experience a tremor of the Creator’s joy when, after the creation, he saw that all he had made was ‘very good.’” (DD 17)
• “Sharing in the Eucharist is the heart of Sunday, but the duty to keep Sunday holy cannot be reduced to this. In fact, the Lord’s Day is lived well if it is marked from the beginning to end by grateful and active remembrance of God’s saving work. This commits each of Christ’s disciples to shape the other moments of the day — those outside of the liturgical context: family life, social relationships, moments of relaxation — in such a way that the peace and joy of the Risen Lord will emerge in the ordinary events of life.” (DD 52)
• “Through Sunday rest, daily concerns and tasks can find their proper perspective: the material things about which we worry give way to spiritual values; in a moment of encounter and less pressured exchange, we see the true face of the people with whom we live. Even the beauties of nature — too often marred by the desire to exploit, which turns against man himself — can be rediscovered and enjoyed to the full.” (DD 67)
• “In order that rest may not degenerate into emptiness or boredom, it must offer spiritual enrichment, greater freedom, opportunities for contemplation and fraternal communion. Therefore, among the forms of culture and entertainment which society offers, the faithful should choose those which are most in keeping with a life lived in obedience to the precepts of the Gospel.” (DD 68)