This is the second story in a three-part series highlighting some of the 20 ministries supported by the annual Catholic Services Appeal. This year’s appeal kicked off Feb. 13-14. Learn more at csaf.org.

Maggie Larson of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Isanti has found healing from abortion through a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat. The retreats are supported by funding from the Catholic Services Appeal. DAVE HRBACEK | THE CATHOLIC SPIRIT

Maggie Larson was not a young teen when she found herself in an unwanted pregnancy in 1988.

“I was 27 years old and working as a psychotherapist,” Larson said. “I had been in a relationship for about two years and was taking the birth control pill; yet, I became pregnant.”

When she revealed this to her boyfriend, he was not at all pleased. He insisted that he was not ready to be a father and that abortion was the only answer.

“I am not placing blame on him; I was so full of fear and he was terrified, too,” she said.

Larson, 59, was raised Catholic, attending Annunciation School in Minneapolis and the Academy of Holy Angels in Richfield. She said she was fortunate to have a group of close girlfriends from those Catholic school years.

“I consider them family and love them all, but I did not share (the news of) my pregnancy at the time,” Larson said. “I was ashamed . . . so ashamed. And that’s why I didn’t go to my parents.

“Looking back now, I had it all wrong,” she said. “I think my friends and family would have helped me. But at the time, I had a boyfriend who didn’t want to help, so I thought I had no road out.”

A few weeks later, Larson, convinced she could not handle raising a child on her own and wanting to please her boyfriend, found herself in a St. Louis Park women’s clinic, seeking an abortion.

“I called in sick from work, walked in and recall all these women sitting there with dead looks on their faces,” she said. “And the silence was deafening.”

Fast forward five years to 1993: Larson went on to marry. After seven years of marriage and one son, the couple divorced.

“I would say that the abortion was ultimately a major factor in the divorce; I was afraid of being honest about anything, I was angry and depressed, and I was sure I was condemned to hell for having an abortion,” Larson said.

Today, Larson, an active member of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Isanti, attends a prayer group, a Bible study and weekly adoration hour. She remarried in 2008 and works with her husband in a couple of family businesses.

“I met my husband in 2005 but kept the abortion secret for a long time; I was convinced he wouldn’t want me if he knew,” Larson said. “I finally told him at the kitchen table one day in a flood of tears and sorrow, and to my astonishment, he held me and consoled me.”

Larson began searching for help to heal from her abortion. She came upon an ad for a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat in February 2015 and asked her husband to accompany her. He agreed.

“I have such deep regret, sorrow and despair about my abortion; it’s so isolating,” Larson said. “Rachel’s Vineyard helped me see that Jesus never abandoned me, and that while abortion is a grave sin, it’s not an unforgivable sin.”

Rachel’s Vineyard Twin Cities offers weekend healing retreats for mothers, fathers, grandparents and anyone struggling with abortion loss. Under the guidance of trained volunteers, using Scripture, meditations, group discussion, the sacraments and a memorial service and Mass to honor the children lost, the retreats allow participants to deeply explore their trauma, guilt and grief in a safe, confidential environment.

Rachel’s Vineyard Ministries is an international organization founded in 1995. “Most of our participants are women in their 40s and 50s; about 12% are men and 84% are Catholic,” said Nancy Blom, 58, executive director of Rachel’s Vineyard Twin Cities. “It’s an average of 24 years from the time of their abortion to when they attend their retreat.”

The retreat was life-changing for Larson. “My soul experienced such a release over the course of the retreat,” she said. “God led me there; he knew what I needed to come out of the prison I had been in for years. And now I have returned to my beautiful Catholic faith, with a very supportive community who reminds me to pray, seek God and listen to him.”

IMPORTANT HELPNancy Blom, executive director of Rachel’s Vineyard Twin Cities, said half of the local organization’s budget is from the Catholic Services Appeal Foundation. The funds are used for retreats and expanding its reach.

“Another very important aspect is that the Catholic Services Appeal sends a powerful message to our wounded body of Christ that the Church cares about them,” Blom said. “With healing, many of our participants become vibrant and active members of their churches, no longer feeling separated and unworthy.”

Parishes also can benefit from the appeal, said Jennifer Beaudry, CSAF executive director.

“When parishes go above their goal or even give more than last year, they receive parish sharing dollars to use wherever they need it most,” Beaudry said. “We were grateful to be able to share approximately 11%, or $1,100,000, with parishes in 2020.”

She said donors can give online, at their parish or by mail.

“We’re using a variety of tools,” Beaudry said, “so that parishes will have the flexibility to reach their parishioners however works best, and additionally this year, parishes will find an extensive tool kit on our website to help spread the word through digital and social channels.”

To learn more about the CSAF and to donate, visit csafspm.org.