Jay and Phoebe Hernandez regularly pray in front of the large Immaculate Heart of Mary statue in their living room. They often pray for the souls of departed relatives and friends.
Following the sudden death June 3 of their friend and fellow parishioner Tim Neeb, they placed his photo at the statue’s base. “He will forever be on our (prayer) list,” Phoebe said.
The Hernandezes’ twin sons, 20-year-old Gabriel and Miguel — who were altar servers through high school at the family’s parish, Our Lady of Lourdes in Minneapolis — nearly always served Mass when Neeb, a fellow parishioner, was a lector. They formed a lasting friendship. Gabriel even asked Tim to be his confirmation sponsor in 2017. “Tim was honored to do that,” said Deb Neeb, Tim’s widow.
Deb and Tim served as eucharistic ministers and, for 20 years, as marriage mentors at Our Lady of Lourdes for couples planning their weddings. They assisted with the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults for four years and helped at parish events with such tasks as making meat pies, cooking brats and selling tickets.
Beyond the shock of Tim’s death of a heart attack on the golf course at age 63, the family was speechless when Deb chose the twins as recipients of a one-time $10,000 academic scholarship named in honor of her husband after his death and funded by the Otto Bremer Trust. Tim worked at Bremer Bank’s headquarters in St. Paul and for its trust.
“I was literally lost for words,” Miguel said. Gabriel wondered, “Why me?”
Deb presented each young man with a $5,000 check after Mass July 26 at Our Lady of Lourdes. The Hernandez brothers, who attended Providence Academy in Plymouth, are sophomores at St. John’s University in Collegeville.
Tim had a special connection with the Hernandez twins, Deb said. “And you couldn’t meet a sweeter, kinder family,” she added.
Gabriel said he asked Tim to be his confirmation sponsor because of the love and discipleship that Tim showed.
“I was able to see not only how much love he has for me and my brother and my family, but also … true discipleship within him … as a person but also as a servant of God,” he said.
Phoebe asked her sons to view the scholarship as a great gift. “God is good,” she said. “I tell my boys we are so blessed by surrounding us with people who are so godly.”
She said the Neeb family is loving, friendly and inclusive. “But we didn’t expect them to give us something like this.” She encouraged her sons to study hard and give back: “Give back to the Church, give back to help people who need it, help others.”
Gabriel chose St. John’s for its academic and faith-based environment. “The people within the community are not only hospitable but … also very inclusive of others,” he said. “It is the kind of place where I can … be able to master my own independence, grow both academically and spiritually, and discover who I am.”
Miguel appreciates that the university is not too far from home, and it felt like home at his first visit. He also likes it because his faith is important. “To have access to a beautiful church almost at the center of the campus, and be able to physically go to Mass on Sundays … is a plus,” he said.
Neither has declared a major, but both are science-minded. Miguel is exploring “something along the lines of medicine.” Gabriel is studying integrative science and is considering a minor in pre-medicine or pre-physical therapy, but is also pondering a major in theology.
Deb, 63, said Tim would love the idea of a scholarship. “Education was so important to him,” she said. The couple, who met at Edison High School in Minneapolis, regularly contributed to the high school’s scholarship fund. And Deb donated money she received after Tim’s death to that fund.
Everyone loved Tim, Deb said. “He loved everyone and just had this zest for life. He brought so much happiness to people.”
Virtually every card she received included a story of how he helped someone, she said. One person recalled how Tim defused a situation at a packed parish block party when a group of teens wanted free food. Another described how uncomfortable she felt as a new parishioner until Tim’s warm welcome.
In addition to helping with her sons’ college expenses, Phoebe said the scholarship gift is a good lesson. “These are people who really have a good heart,” she said of the Neebs. “And kindness. I’ll be praying for the family for as long as I live.”
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